I wish you had died

I wish you had died.

I don’t will you any ill but it would be easier
if some other force had stripped love from me.

Then I wouldn’t have to pass
its shadow on the street.

Then friends would still pat me on the back
and cry a little with me by the water.

Then I could keep your memory with me
without seeing your body with another.

Then I could choose to remember you
the way we were when we were happy.

I wish you had died,

Then nothing inside me could hate you,
this way that I never wanted to.